I like to think of life in a glass-half-full kind of way.
I want to believe that being happy and being healthy are destinations we can all reach—like two perfect checkboxes we can mark off when we finally get "there." But the more I walk this road, the more I realize… there isn't a destination at all.
We live in a world obsessed with endpoints and achievements. Social media feeds us carefully curated images of "perfect health" and "perfect happiness," making it easy to believe that these states exist as permanent destinations. The wellness industry often reinforces this notion—promising that with the right diet, exercise regimen, meditation practice, or supplement, we'll arrive at some idealized state of being where health and happiness perfectly align.
But what if this destination-focused thinking is actually keeping us from experiencing the richness of what life actually offers?
Because the truth is, some of the happiest moments of my life have come when my health wasn't at its best. And some of the healthiest moments I've experienced weren't necessarily my happiest.
Think about it. Perhaps you've experienced the profound joy of connecting deeply with loved ones while going through a health challenge. Maybe you've found unexpected laughter in a hospital room, or discovered a new appreciation for life's small pleasures during recovery. These moments of happiness don't wait for perfect health to appear—they emerge in the midst of our struggles, often shining brightest against the darkest backgrounds.
Conversely, you might have experienced times when your body was performing optimally—when all your metrics looked perfect and you were doing "everything right"—yet you felt emotionally disconnected, anxious, or unfulfilled. Physical health, while important, doesn't automatically generate emotional wellbeing.
Maybe you've felt this, too. Maybe you've reached a milestone in your recovery but felt emotionally drained. Or maybe you've laughed harder than ever with people you love, even though your body was still healing.
This disconnect isn't a failure or something you're doing wrong. It's a normal part of the human experience. Our bodies and minds don't always progress at the same rate or in the same direction. Healing is rarely linear, and happiness doesn't follow a predictable trajectory.
The pressure to synchronize these experiences—to be happy because you're healthy, or to force health before allowing happiness—creates unnecessary suffering and misses the beautiful complexity of being human.
That's the thing about happiness and health—they aren't finish lines. They aren't trophies you earn after suffering enough or doing everything "right."
When we view health and happiness as static achievements rather than dynamic experiences, we set ourselves up for disappointment. No one exists in a state of perfect health indefinitely. Bodies change, challenges arise, and circumstances fluctuate. Similarly, no one experiences uninterrupted happiness. Emotions naturally ebb and flow, responding to both internal and external factors.
What if, instead of chasing these ideals as endpoints, we recognized them as rhythms and practices—as ways of engaging with life rather than states to achieve?
They exist in the in-between. In the way you savor the little things. In the way you show up for yourself, even when it's hard. In the way you allow joy to exist—even in imperfect circumstances.
This is where real living happens—in the messy middle, in the day-to-day choices to find moments of joy regardless of circumstances, in the small acts of caring for your body even when it's struggling, in the practice of self-compassion when neither health nor happiness feels accessible.
Consider these "in-between" moments:
These moments may not make for dramatic before-and-after stories, but they constitute the fabric of a life lived with awareness and intention.
If you're waiting for life to be fully healed before you allow yourself to be happy, I get it. But here's your reminder: happiness isn't the reward for getting healthy. It's something you're allowed to have now.
This isn't about toxic positivity or denying real suffering. It's not about forcing a smile through pain or pretending challenges don't exist. It's about recognizing that joy and suffering can coexist—that happiness can visit even in hospital rooms, and that health challenges don't negate your right to experience pleasure, connection, and meaning.
Happiness isn't something you earn through perfect health behaviors. It's not withheld until you've checked all the wellness boxes. It's available in moments, in glimpses, in small choices, in connections—regardless of your current health status.
Learning to balance health and happiness means embracing a both/and mindset rather than an either/or perspective:
This balanced approach allows for the full spectrum of human experience without demanding perfection in either domain.
💛 Sending love to anyone learning to balance both. You're doing better than you think.
Whether you're currently navigating health challenges, feeling the pressure to "optimize" every aspect of your wellbeing, or somewhere in between, remember that the journey itself matters. The way you speak to yourself during difficult times, the compassion you show toward your struggling body, the permission you give yourself to experience joy even when things aren't perfect—these are not detours on the path to health and happiness. They are the path itself.
Your worth isn't measured by how healthy or how happy you are. It's inherent, unchanging, and present in every moment of your existence—in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, and in all the beautiful, messy in-between spaces where real life happens.
With Compassion, Stephanie
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